Jokes To The Filipino, By The Filipino, and For the Filipino




These jokes is not intended for the democracy in the Philippines since we already had it. This jokes is intended to add spices in making a Filipino a better way of living life happy. This jokes adds you to be happy if you're a Filipino since this jokes were came from a tagalog version. This is the current installment of Filipino jokes for the month of October and for the year of 2013. Read it and you'll be laughed for some time.


* POLITICAL TALK *

JOHN: Alam mo, 'pag nakakakita ako ng mga bituin naaalala ko ang mga politicians natin.

PETER: Bakit? Dahil bright sila?

JOHN: Hindi,dahil sila'y ko-corrupt,corrupt!


* YOU'VE GOT THE LOOK *

ANAK: Ita'y sabi nila 'pagnakaharap ako, kamukha ko si Jose rizal. 'Pagkanaside-view kamukha ko naman si Manuel Roxas. Ano ho ibig sabihin n'on?

ITAY: Mukha kang pera!


* AT THE BUS *

KONDUKTOR: (habang inaabot ang ticket) Saan kayo , miss?

AIKO: Sa Alabang po.

KONDUKTOR: Sorry po, miss, dun po sa kabila ang byaheng Alabang. Ayala lang po dito.

AIKO: Ay, thank you! Mali pala ako ng sakay.( sabay lipat sa katapat na upuan sa Aiko)


* SHOOTING STAR *

GIRLFRIEND 1: Alam mo, girl, nakakita ako ng shooting star kagabi habang iniisip ko ng babes ko.

GIRLFRIEND 2: Really? Ano ba ang wish mo? na forever na kayo ng babes mo?

GIRLFRIEND 1: Hindi......na sana magkahiwalay na kami. Kasi ikaw ang gusto ko!


* IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT! *

MARE 1: congrats, mare! Sa wakas, kasal ka na! So, how does it feel to be a wife?

MARE 2: Okey lang, mare.

MARE 1: Ganon lang 'yun? Okey lang? Eh, bakit parang hindi ka happy? At bakit 'yang wedding ring mo sa ibang daliri nakasuot?

MARE 2: Kasi, mare,maling lalaki yung napakasalan ko.

* GOOD MORNING, MAM *

TEACHER: ok, class, today we will be translating from English to Tagalog. Who would like to go first?

CLARA: I want togo pers, mam.

TEACHER: Ok, Clara, I want you to translate " The Stars in the sky are glittering".

CLARA; Ang dali mam, " Ang mga bituin sa langit ay kumikinang"

TEACHER: That's very good! ok, who would like to go next?

MARA: Ako po mam!, I would like to try.

TEACHER; Ok, Mara, I want you to translate " guy, mother, father and you". I want all of those words to be used in sentence.

MARA: Is that all mam? piece of cake! " Guy" is MA, " mother" is MAma, " Father" is Tay, " you" means Ka.

TEACHER: That's good! Ok, I want you to put everything in a sentence.

MARA: No problem, Mam! " Ma-Mama-Tay-ka".


* ORDER IN THE COURT *

PARE 1: Pare, ang tanga talaga ng kapitbahay ko.

PARE 2: Bakit pre?

PARE 1: Ang pagkakaintindi niya niya sa LAWSUIT, ay uniporme ng pulis.

PARE 2: Ang bobo naman niya! Hindi ba suot abugado yun?


* ANG TEST *

Pagkatapos kumuha ng test sa UP, nag-usap ang magkaibigan.

CARLO: Tol, nahirapan ka ba sa mga tanong sa eksam/

PETER; Hindi tol!

CARLO : Wow! Tol, ang galing mo naman!

PETER : Nahirapan ako sa mga sagot.


* LOKOHAN BA ITO? *

Nagtatalo ang dalawang sira-ulo.

SIRA 1: Pare, kaya mo bang tumawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?

SIRA 2: Ano ako abnormal? Paano kung bigla mong patayin iyang flashlight mo? Eh di nahulog ako! Ayaw ko nga!


* DALAWANG LAMOK *


Nag- uusap ang dalawang lamok habang iniikutan ang taong natutulog.

LAMOK 1: PAmbihirang mga tao yan.....mga walng kwenta!

LAMOK 2: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan?

LAMOK 1: Paano, sila na nga ang kinakantahan mo, aba'y papataying ka pa!


* LABADAMI *

PROMOTER: Misis, sa tingin n'yo kapag pinaghalo ang Breeze, TIde Surf, at Ariel, bubula kaya?

MISIS: Aba, syemprenoh!

PROMOTER : MALi!

MISIS: At bakit naman?

PROMOTER : dahil walang tubig!

I hope you enjoy reading the uniqueness of the Filipino jokes for this month of October and until my next installment for the different jokes that I'm going to post right in this blog. Thank you and please subscribe or like our facebook fanpage too.


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